How many times do we get any given song stuck in our heads? Sometimes it’s the latest hit that we immediately add to our playlists, or more likely it’ll be the theme song to some preschool cartoon that you’re obligated to watch with your children. Music moves all of us in different ways, whether it’s in concert, vinyl collections, or a masterful composition for your favorite movie. It speaks to us on levels that people oftentimes cannot in mere spoken word.
Every so often, I’ll hear a certain song that resonates with me on such a level that I’ll hear it in my head, over and over. For me in this season, that song is Way Maker by Leeland.
From the very first three words, “You are here,” I think about how many times I’ve thought I had run so far from God that He wasn’t anywhere near me, that He couldn’t hear my cries for help. To think that even after all the years I’ve wasted serving only my selfish desires that God was always here, still loving me, still desiring for me to come back to Him and fulfill all that He has planned is sometimes hard to believe.
Then, as I’m belting out the chorus (alone in my car, of course), I’m dwelling on the words “promise keeper”. Now, throughout my adult life, I’ve made innumerable amounts of promises that I would lose the weight, go back to school, etc, and never fulfilled any of them. In fact, I would go as far as to say many of the positive changes to my life were made possible because of the constant loving determination of my family to see me succeed. Having all this weighing down on my heart for so long, I began to began to place limiting factors on God’s promises. I felt that by now I had squandered too much time and now I must live a life of mediocrity, just getting by like I always have. In this season, God wanted me to know He never gave up on me, and that His word never returns to Him void, so if He spoke it over my life through someone else or said it in the Bible, He is always working, and will make a way to bring His promises to pass.
The bridge of this song really brings it all home for me, saying, “Even when I don’t see it you’re working/Even when I don’t feel it you’re working/You never stop, you never stop working/You never stop, you never stop working.” I remember times when I was only in church physically, but my mind was always somewhere else. I was so focused on everything that was going on around me, all of struggles I was dealing with, that was all I could see. I no longer trusted that God was working in my life, or that He would ever rescue me from where I was.
When I was thinking about all this a moment ago, God showed me something that I just had to put into writing. I think it’s safe to say we’ve all heard the story of Peter walking on the water more times than we could ever count, but when you really stop and think about it, you begin to wonder about certain things. For me, I couldn’t help but think about that moment Peter looked away from Jesus, toward the raging storm around him, and he began to drown. I think about what went through his head in that split moment, when the storm tried to claim his life. We know he was afraid, because after taking his eyes off the one who helped him rise above the raging waters, his fear allowed his circumstances to overwhelm him. I really related to that idea of letting circumstances and fear control every aspect of my life, and completely lose sight of the way maker, miracle worker, promise keeper, and the light in the darkness.
After Peter cried out for the Lord to save him, and Jesus immediately pulling him back up, he says to Peter, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” (Matthew 14:31 NIV). That doubt and fear Peter almost succumbed to are my two biggest obstacles in my personal life. That’s why Leeland’s song is such an important message for me; when I truly start to trust that God never stops working even when I don’t see it or feel it, I get the motivation to go after His promises, and see them fulfilled in my life. I’ve felt the Lord reach into my storm and say to me, “why did you doubt me?”
I am learning more about the fierceness of God’s love and just how relentless he can be (I could probably write a whole other blog about You Won’t Relent by Misty Edwards) and I’m working daily to remove myself from the situation and let God be the Lord of my life. I know I have a long road yet to travel, but I know He will always be here with me, that He never stops working on me, and that I can always trust in Him to lead me through all the storms in my life.